When High Achievement Comes at a Cost: The Pressure We Don’t Always Talk About

High achievers are often very good at carrying a lot.

We get things done.

We solve problems.

We take responsibility.

We anticipate what needs to happen next.

We keep going when things get difficult.

And usually, those qualities are rewarded.

They help us build careers, lead teams, raise families, create businesses and pursue ambitious goals.

I know these qualities well.

I’ve been an elite athlete. An Olympian. A working mum. A leader. A business owner. A speaker.

I genuinely like achieving things.

I like having goals.

I like learning.

I like having multiple things happening in my life.

And I don’t believe ambition is something we need to apologise for.

But I’ve also had to learn that some of the qualities that help us achieve can become exhausting when we don’t know how to switch them off.

When being capable becomes the expectation

If you’re the person who usually gets things done, people learn that they can rely on you.

And eventually, you can start expecting the same thing from yourself.

You become the one who will figure it out.

Take on the extra responsibility.

Remember what needs to happen.

Keep everything moving.

Push through when you’re tired.

Say, “I’ll just get this done first.”

And because you’re capable, you often can keep doing it.

That’s what makes this difficult to recognise.

You don’t necessarily reach a dramatic breaking point.

Sometimes you just become accustomed to operating with a constantly busy mind.

You finish one thing and immediately think about the next.

You sit down to rest and remember something you haven’t done.

You go on holiday and mentally take your work with you.

You’re physically present at home while part of your brain is still running through tomorrow’s list.

Being able to carry a lot doesn’t mean you have to carry everything, all the time.

I don’t want women to become less ambitious

This distinction matters to me.

Because I don’t believe the answer to stress is telling ambitious women to simply slow down.

I don’t want to do less because someone has decided I have too much on my plate.

I don’t want to choose one identity because being multifaceted makes other people uncomfortable.

And I don’t believe wanting a career, family, business, creative projects, impact, adventure or whatever combination matters to you is inherently the problem.

The better question is:

How do I build the capacity to hold the life I actually want?

That’s a very different conversation.

It moves us away from:

You need to do less.

And toward:

How can I do what matters to me without constantly operating under unnecessary pressure?

Elite sport taught me that more isn’t always better

This is one of the lessons I’ve carried with me from high-performance sport.

As an athlete, there was always more I could do.

Another training session.

Another repetition.

Another technical adjustment.

Another opportunity to push.

But high performance isn’t simply about doing more.

Training has to be balanced with recovery.

Effort has to have purpose.

And pushing harder isn’t automatically the same as getting better.

I’ve had to relearn that lesson outside the swimming pool.

Because in everyday life, there isn’t always a coach standing beside you saying:

That’s enough for today.

We have to develop the self-awareness to recognise it ourselves.

The goal isn’t a life without pressure

Pressure isn’t always bad.

I’ve experienced some of the most extraordinary moments of my life under pressure.

Standing behind the blocks at the Olympic Games certainly wasn’t stress-free.

Neither is walking onto a stage to speak.

Neither is leadership.

Neither is parenting.

Neither is building something you care deeply about.

The goal isn’t to create a life where nothing ever feels challenging.

It’s to have tools that help you meet those moments without living there permanently.

For me, one of those tools is my breath.

Your breath can create a pause

I use breathwork because it’s practical.

It’s something I can use before I walk onto a stage.

Before an important conversation.

Between meetings.

When my thoughts are moving faster than I would like.

Or when I realise I’m trying to mentally manage ten things at once.

Sometimes I use box breathing:

Inhale for 4
 Hold for 4
 Exhale for 4
 Hold for 4

Sometimes I simply take three intentional breaths.

Not because three breaths magically remove the demands of my life.

They don’t.

But they can create a pause.

And in that pause, I can ask:

What actually needs my attention right now?

That question has become far more useful to me than automatically trying to do everything.

Sustainable high performance is personal

There isn’t one perfect formula for high performance.

What energises one person might exhaust another.

What matters deeply to me may not matter to you.

Some people thrive with one major focus.

Others are happiest when they have several different things happening.

The important thing is understanding yourself well enough to recognise the difference between the pressure that comes from pursuing something meaningful and the pressure you’re carrying simply because you’ve become accustomed to carrying it.

You don’t need to become less ambitious.

You don’t need to stop wanting more for your life.

And you certainly don’t need to fit somebody else’s definition of balance.

But you can learn to recognise when you’re operating on autopilot.

You can learn to pause.

You can recover.

You can decide what actually deserves your energy.

And you can build a way of performing that is sustainable for you.

Because high performance shouldn’t require you to lose yourself in the process.

Performing under pressure is a skill

As an Olympian and keynote speaker, I explore what elite sport can teach us about pressure, performance, identity and sustainable success.

In my keynote Breathe Like an Olympian, I combine stories from competing on the world’s biggest sporting stages with practical breathing tools audiences can use in the moments that matter at work, on stage, in leadership and in everyday life.

Because the goal isn’t to eliminate pressure.

It’s to build the tools to meet it.

Explore Breathe Like an Olympian and invite Anna-Liza to speak at your next conference, leadership event or staff development day.